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  • Writer's pictureLisa Lanzetta

The Heart of Loneliness and the Gift of Aloneness: A Journey in Recovery


Loneliness can hit like a freight train. It’s that raw, hollow feeling that can creep up on you, sometimes bringing you to your knees, turning every moment into a painful echo. It’s more than just being alone—it’s a profound disconnection from everything that seems to matter.


Aloneness, though, is different. It’s about being present with yourself, tapping into a source of energy and comfort that doesn't rely on anyone else. For those in recovery, finding the balance between these two states can be a game-changer.


The Disconnection that Breaks Us

We often think of loneliness as a lack of company, but it’s deeper than that. It’s a void, an emptiness that seems to swallow all light. Sometimes, it feels like you’re cut off from the universe, like you’ve lost your anchor to the world and your soul. It drains your energy and steals your vitality.


But there’s a flip side. Aloneness can be the path to reconnection—to yourself and the world around you. It’s where you learn to be with yourself without the need for constant validation from others.


My Personal Journey

I remember a moment in my own recovery journey when loneliness hit me like a tidal wave. I was in the middle of a grueling shamanic training, sitting on my lawn, tears soaking into the grass. I felt completely lost, broken by the weight of the universe. I thought I knew how to be alone, but what I didn’t realize was that I had been using it as a shield against the deep sense of loneliness that had always been lurking beneath the surface.


That breakdown was my breakthrough. It forced me to confront what I was really feeling—the disconnection from something greater than myself. I got up from that lawn, wiped away my tears, and decided it was time to open a sacred space within myself, one where I could feel whole, not because someone else was there, but because I was there for me.


The Sacred Space of Aloneness

Creating a sacred space for yourself isn’t easy, especially if you’ve been relying on others to fill the emptiness. It takes commitment and the courage to be honest with yourself. But once you start, you’ll find that it’s not just about being alone—it’s about being whole.


Here’s what I learned: when you embrace aloneness, you open up to a deeper connection with everything around you. The trees seem greener, the air fresher, and the people you do choose to be with are the ones who truly matter. You start to realize that you are never really alone, even when there's no one else around.


Finding Your Sacred Space

If you’re struggling with loneliness, I invite you to explore your own sacred space. It could be through meditation, journaling, or simply taking a walk in nature. Find a place where you can be with yourself, where you can feel the presence of something greater.


The journey from loneliness to aloneness isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. It’s about reclaiming your strength and finding comfort in your own company. And once you do, you’ll realize that you’re not just okay with being alone—you thrive in it.


Ready to start your journey? Here’s a simple practice to help you open your sacred space and reconnect with your soul. It might not be easy at first, but I promise you, it gets better. And remember, you are never truly alone.


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